Hello world!

April 29, 2013 by kristen
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It’s time….to blog! I’ve been encouraged time and again to start a blog but I’ve been hesitant and resistant to do it. I’ve made up lots of excuses not to start one, most of my reasons related to time constraints. However, having had lots of support from family, friends, and colleagues (sex therapists and otherwise), here it is. My first official blog post. A place to share my thoughts and opinions with you all about sexuality.

Talking about myself and my background seems appropriate for a first blog. Why sexuality? Why therapy? Why sex therapy? Why me? Sexuality, because that’s my passion. It’s what I live for. I love talking about sex and educating about sex and helping people work through their sexual issues. Ultimately, I aim to empower others to take control of their sexuality.  Thinking back throughout the years, my parents will tell me funny stories about how in touch I was with my sexuality as a child. Always critically asking questions that most kids wouldn’t dream of ever asking their parents. I want to know about AIDS after one of my mother’s friends was diagnosed with it. I wanted to know about oral sex, because I didn’t understand it. I was inquisitive and curious. I was also a free-spirit and was raised in a supportive home. So I asked my parents the questions that still make many people squirm. And they answered them (perhaps begrudgingly, but always honestly and age-appropriately).

When I was a senior in high school, I saw The Vagina Monologues, a play by women’s rights activist Eve Ensler. It was the first time that women’s sexuality was spoken about or addressed, without me having to ask. The show specifically discussed women receiving and being deserving of pleasure. It was the first time that there was a platform to discuss sexuality. I didn’t want the show to end. More importantly, I didn’t want the conversation to end. 

When I entered my collegiate years, I wanted to be a pharmacist. It was quickly apparent that calculus and chemistry were not my thing so, I decided to pursue a degree in psychology. I knew that I wanted to be clinical therapist and have a private practice.  And then I decided I would become a sex therapist. At the time, I didn’t even know if such a career existed. I thought, perhaps, I had made it up. I began to do some research and discovered AASECT, the American Association for Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. Again, I discovered a platform to have discussions around sexuality in an ethical and professional manner. I was 19 at the time, and I haven’t looked back sense. 

Through my journey to become an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, I learned how complex sexuality and sexual issues can be. My curiosity from childhood has not waned, rather it has turned into a passion. I continue to learn and grow and ask questions. I just have a lot more of the answers now than I used to. Still, sexuality is complicated. It took me nearly ten years, but I followed my dreams and aspirations and in 2013 I became a AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. Since then I have started a private practice, and a blog. I invite you read, learn, ask questions, and we can grow together. 

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(c) Kristen Lilla 2017